things i thought of while i drowned in the ocean by Sarah Al-shimary
Sarah Al-shimary is a 17 year old girl living in Las Vegas, NV. her work is drawn from personal and shared experiences that are twisted and wrung out soggy on paper. she has been featured on several other magazines and craves to contribute. she hopes to create a feeling of uneasiness and shock that is reflected in her work. her main source of contact is her Instagram, @sarlsh.
1. Did I blow out the candle?
2. It started out as a joke but now I am afraid of the answers more than the laughter.
3. I forgot to call my mom today.
4. When I was 8 I put my ear against the heart of a seashell, a sea crashes through my ears, a bloody high tide cracking whips into the sands of wax. This does not sound like a seashell.
5. When I look at myself in the mirror all I want to do is shave everything off me, like the chocolate covering on a strawberry throbbing, slipping away with every gouge and pink spurt. A seedless purification, some confectionery purge.
6. I took a CPR class when I was 15. Push and pummel and pull and compress. Push, pummel, pull, compress. Push, pummel, pull, and compress. Push pummel pull compress
7. My aunt could never have kids. Sterile as a dry, desert pin. I am my aunt’s daughter; a supported sinful burden, a white wall.
8. When a female mantis mates with a male, it eats his head off after conception.
9. I promise you, I gleam.
10. Kissing felt like swallowing skin inside me, a heartache gulp into my chest. In this way I am omniscient. Sacramental bread.
11. I think I’ve thrown up more times than I’ve swallowed anything, really.
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12. The respiratory system moves from lung to heart. It contains veins, capillaries, arteries. It pounds through me in cement. It pounds through me in a million fuzzy caterpillars. It pounds through me more than anything has, like rain after a drought in some flowering cactus home.
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13. The sound of a neck snapping, dislocation of a people, a book shutting, its spine cracking, my mouth watering, a glittering symphony resembling lying in some moonlight. I’m not sure which melody I’ll miss the most.